day 4

I'm thankful for my siblings {originals Karen and Diane and "acquired later" Michael, Cory, Alison  Andy and Jim}.

I just spent the better part of 10 minutes looking for a quote about siblings.  You didn't even miss me, did you?  It was all for nothing...I couldn't find it.  But here's what I kind of remember about it...your siblings "get" you the best.  They really, really know you.  They've loved you, and hated you, and then loved you again.  Nobody understands you more...not even your spouse.  They know where you came from, how you were raised, things that hurt you, things that make you happy...they understand and witnessed you becoming you.  They are your history...the good, the bad, and the ugly!

Now, the "acquired later" variety...they're good for a whole other reason!  These are people who are forced into your life, whether you like it or not!  Some you have an instant connection with,  some the connection takes time.  Your common love for somebody else is what ultimately brings you together and, in my case, is what makes me truly view them as my sibling too.  Plus, they're good to have around when you want to pick on an "original"!   ;)

I'm grateful for them all, the "originals" and the "acquired laters"!

day 3

I am thankful for my parents.

When I was little, even during those moments I felt sure that I was adopted, even when I really, really messed up, I never once questioned if my Mom and Dad loved me.  They have always shown me unconditional love.  They have always been there when I needed them.  They have put up with me at my worst.  They are my "go to" people when parenting feels overwhelming, when I feel like I'm failing {which is a lot, by the way}.  I'm blessed to have them in my life, and my children are blessed to have them in their lives.

30 days of Thanksgiving { days 1 & 2 }

Happy November people!  I've seen some people doing this on Facebook and I thought it's a nice idea...why not do it on my blog!  So, here I is :)  {I totally know that isn't the correct way to say that, Mom}.

Some of you may, or may not, know that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  I love that it's a time to come together with family and be thoughtful about all the things we have to be thankful for...no expectations.  No gifts, no Santa, no last minute wrapping looming over us, no pressure {except for the cooking part, but really we all just do that to ourselves, you know?}

So, for the next 30 days I should be posting every day.  Should be.  I'll try my best...let's leave it at that.

Day 1.  I'm Thankful for the life God has given to me.

Day 2.  I'm thankful for my little family, Chris, Colin, Ty, and Eden.  {And, CGF...you too... I remember you every day!}        


Now I'm off to do some Thanksgiving decorating!

That is all.

What has happened to Rebecca?

Well, let me just say that I've really been contemplating the future of my blog.

1. I cannot change my banner because Picasa is, for some reason, not working well.  I'm not sure what the issue is but it's not showing all my photos.  For instance, if I took 20 pictures at an event, it's only showing 5.  It's really frustrating me.  I've tried to un-install Picasa and then reinstall it, but it's not helping the situation at all.  So, that made me mad for a while, keeping me from blogging.

2.  Although I do like to think of this as a family diary of sorts, I'm questioning why I'm using a blog for that outlet.  I do like to share ideas that I have or things that I do because it's a fun way to connect with other moms.  Only, there isn't much connecting going on.  I feel like it's another outlet for voyeurism...much like facebook, only my blog is so much more personal.  I feel like I haven't seen or spoken to people in so long but they don't really need to see me or speak to me because they can just tune into my blog and catch up.  Only I don't get to catch up with them.   Half the fun of blogging is getting comments.  Thank you, Dad, for always leaving me one because you know how much I like to get them.

3.  Time.  I just don't have much time.  Three kids, two of whom are in sports, keep us quite busy.  Not to mention all their laundry :).  And, I work part-time.  I don't even really do fun projects anymore.  I love to create and the blog allows me to do that through writing, but I could just do that privately...then I could share more ;).

So, this is where I am right now.  Maybe it's just a phase.  Maybe it's the end of my blog.  Right now I'm not sure.

(I'd ask for a vote, but I'm guessing I'd get one, maybe two, comments. :) )

Well, here it is.  My newest post...since July 10th!!!!

Hee, hee, hee.  I've been taking it easy and enjoying a summer break.

Which is now over.


And just like that, they're back in school...

(Not all of them, of course).  Eden is attending "Gigi and Dad-dad School".  That's what we tell her because she so badly wants to go to school like her boys.  She even got a backpack.  It's pretty cool.


I was SO ready for school to start.  And also so not readyfor school to start...lunches, morning routines...you know, the usual suspects.

This was the boys bedroom the Sunday night before school at about 5pm.  Urg.

Great big back-to-school fail for this mom this year!  

But, the good news is that there is a reason for my unpreparedness.  (that is a word!  I checked...)  We, last week, had 2 people contact us about our house!  This is really something (I hope) because we do not have our house on the market.  Amazing, I know.

We live in a small town.  Word gets around in small towns.  I guess it's pretty well known that we hoped to sell pretty soon.  Then our neighbors moved (boo) and we got new neighbors.  With friends.  And some of those friends, it turns out, like our house. (yay!)

We aren't ready to move quite yet, (not at all actually) but we've agreed to show it and maybe get the ball rolling on an actual purchase.  So, needless to say, I've been a scrambling fool trying to make all closets seem huge and a basement de-cluttered.  That has been an eye opener!  I thought that we were pretty scaled down around here...we have A Lot of stuff!  And, it goes against every fiber of my being to "stuff".  On more than one occasion I've caught myself doing things like separating my straight pins from my safety pins, modge-podging cardboard boxes with pretty paper to use in my closets so I wouldn't have to buy baskets, pulling out baby keepsakes and reminiscing...sigh.  And then...

Hello, my name is Rebecca and I'm a hypocrite....

This is my wedding bouquet.  Yes it is.  It still looks so pretty, right?  I'm ashamed to admit that I may (I totally did) have encouraged a certain someone to throw hers away... haughtily, I might add.  

"Why?  Why do you need to keep that?  What purpose does it serve?  That's silly!"

So I've memorialized my (almost) thirteen- year- old, dried-out wedding bouquet in photographs, and soon it will be nothing but a memory. (gulp). Why is that so hard to type!?

           I must stay strong.  I must carry on.  I must not keep crusty bouquets.  I will triumph!

**sniff**

Until next time...

for Sarah...

Eden in all her swimsuit loveliness!

"fluffy butt"!  ;)

introducing...

OK, OK, OK...I'll finally share about our new (old) puppy.

Meet Terra.  Or, as Eden likes to call her "baby puppy".  That has, actually,  kind of become her new name.

That, or "stupid dog"...that really depends on if she's done something like this....

Terra and I have a bit of a love/hate relationship going on right now.  When she's resting in her kennel, as she is right now, it's very easy for me to reflect on how good of a puppy she actually is.  She slept through her first night with us without a peep!  She learned to sit within the first week.  She doesn't bark all the time.  She stays in out yard without wandering too much.  When she outgrows this puppy stage (in three freakin' years) she will be an outstanding pet!   

The hate part (and hate may be too strong of a word) is just due to the typical puppy obnoxiousness.  She wants to chew on EVERYTHING...ALL the time!  And (this part really isn't her fault) those kids of mine who begged and pleaded to get a dog...well, let's just say I hear "it's not my turn" a lot.  They ignore her or scream about her most of the time.  So, the typical story about kids and pets...

sigh.

Thank goodness for Chris.  He opposed the puppy from the get go, but he loves her to pieces and has the most incredible patience with her.  I do hear a lot of "I told you so" comments, though.  And, I must say,  I'm really not very fond of them! :) 

Then we have moments like these...

The kids do love her (as do I) and they're getting better about helping out with her.  Before we know it we won't be able to remember life without her.  She'll be family.  I guess she already is...

It all started here.  

Sept. 18, 1999

Well, not exactly...but it is where it really started.  Inside that church we said things like honor, obey, cherish, love.  Till death.

Then this...

March 7, 2003

and this...

February 22, 2006

and this...

February 5, 2010

And the love is there all along.  Only it's buried under thoughts like, "could you not have worn a nicer shirt to the birth of our daughter?  I mean, really..."

This September we will have been married for 13 years.  The past 9 years we've had company.
I find myself thinking about this more and more.  Let's be honest...marriage is hard to begin with, but take a marriage and add a child {or two or three} and it becomes a challenge.  {gasp!}  Yes, I said a challenge.

Now, I refuse to believe that we are any different than most couples.  We fight {verbally}, we hurt each other {emotionally}, we say things we don't mean, we harbor grudges, we're petty.  Maybe I'm wrong, maybe we just have a bad marriage...but, I don't think so.

Our journies require a personal responsibility;  to ourselves, to each other, and to our children.  Our partners become a mirror of sorts, and sometimes what we see in the mirror isn't very pretty.

Our lives our busy.  We run constantly.  Our kids aren't perfect and neither are we.  We try and do the best we can.  Or do we?  I know I'm guilty of treating my friends and co-workers with more kindness and repect than I do my own family.  I speak more gently with strangers than I do to my own husband and children.  I'm quicker to forgive, slower to anger.  And, I know, this is not right.  I also know that I'm not alone, but that doesn't make it ok either...

It's not hard to remember the day I married Chris.  In fact, I can recall it quite well.  We had faith in our marriage.  We had hope for our marriage.  And, we had love.  Sometimes it's hard to keep the faith.  Sometimes the hope fades.  But the love is there...always there.


       "Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the grestest of these is love."
                                                                                                       1 Corinthians 13:13

summer busyness, a puppy, and some really good books

Not necessarily in that order, but 3 big reasons that blogging has taken a back seat for a good month {almost 2!}.

We've been busy.  Baseball finally ended.  I forget that I hate baseball until we're in the midst of baseball,...every year.  I don't mean I hate baseball.  I like to watch baseball.  I love to watch Colin play and, this year,  pitch.  But,  I do hate Little League with a passion!  Baseball brings out the crazies.  Plus, there are two games EVERY WEEK!  It's too much.  And, this year we had the added joy of Chris being head coach.  It was a miserable season, and I'm glad it's behind us!  I wish I could go into further detail, but honestly I just want to forget it all.  Just remember, two games a week and crazy parents...enough said!

We have a new member of the family.  I'm kind of embarrassed that I haven't formally introduced her yet, but it's still kind of in that love/hate phase.  A new puppy is, without a doubt, worse than a newborn.  I promise to fill you all in, with pictures...soon...I promise.

I finally just finished reading East of Eden.  What, you thought I was going to say the Shades of Grey series?  Well, I read those too.  Yes, I did.  They were dirty.  And I liked them.  And no, I'm not into S&M now by any means!  It was pure fluff...not that well written, but entertaining!  So, I decided to counter the literary smut with a classic I'd never read.  It's all about balance, people...
And, WOW.  Great book.  Fantastic.  Thought provoking and so well written.  It took forever.  I lost many hours of good sleep trying to get through it and just not being able to put it down. And now, the problem I'm always faced with after finishing a good book, what do I read next?  Any suggestions?  I do have a pile of books purchased and never read...I guess I'll start there...


I do miss my blog.  It has always offered me an opportunity to sit and write, a hobby that I love and that I don't really do except when blogging.  It allows me to clear my head a little and to record things so that I don't forget.  I have been feeling so bogged down lately trying to remember what I must not forget.   The guilt of possibly forgetting to record something precious...a story about one of the kids, an amazing thought....whatever.

I promise to return soon.  I have to introduce our puppy.  And, I have some Eden-isms that are cute and that I need to write about so that I don't forget.  If you find them entertaining that's just an added bonus... :)

TTFN

I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I'm sensitive.  I like to talk things out.  I'm not a smoother over-er {new word alert!}.  I don't like to sweep it under the rug.  I don't like the "let's talk later" when I know the later will never come.

I once opened a fortune cookie which read "your sensitivity is an asset".  I saved it.  It's in my wallet now.    I'd love to believe it, and I do to an extent, but mostly I find that my sensitivity is a big, fat non-asset.

It makes parenting even more difficult than it is.  It makes marriage more difficult than it needs to be.  It repels would-be friends.  It makes my job...well, painful.  

What I want to know is, when do I learn how to not let that sensitivity effect me all the time?  'Cause I try...I do!  Although, hormones don't help and I've got them...I'm inching closer to 40 and they're all crazy   up in here!

How I'd love to let stuff just NOT effect me!  My head gets it, my sensitive heart doesn't.

Where, oh where, is sensitivity an asset????

Really.  I'm asking...